Recently in Getting To Know Someone Category

Many folks approach internet dating with some hesitancy. Can I trust what people tell me? Is that picture in their profile really them? Is is safe to actually meet someone I met on the internet? And everyone has a horror story they can relate about internet dating. Given what we hear about the internet per se in the media from all sorts of scams, to rampant pornograhhy and pedeaphelia, our initial reactions are understandable. Nonetheless, in my opinion, internet dating sites are legitimate venues to meet people. It can't be beat for meeting a varied, critical mass of individuals that you would not meet in the course of your daily lives, whether for a relationship, a pen pal, or just a friend. Of course, I would suggest, and The Flow advocates, the importance of taking your time to get to know someone with whom you connect. It in no way absolves you of the need to judge the character of those you meet. And, I would also suggest, that initial meetings occur in a very public place. But I believe that internet dating, for the most part, is no more perlious than meeting someone in person. In either venue you can be vulerable to deception. And, I'm sure that far more folks have been decieved in the flesh than on the internet.

In getting to know someone in a new relationship, there comes a point where for both men and women, when to become sexually intimate. What should be going on in a relationship to indicate that the time is right? In this age of AIDs and STDs is this something for both parties to discuss what expectations comes with sexual intimacy or is it a magical spontaneous magical experience? THE FLOW WANTS TO KNOW HOW YOU THINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well guys I've been on another date and its getting old......

So far I've thought alot about the questions we've raised and I wonder that
regardless of the answers received if our internal clock/spirit/intuition
does not make a connection what then??

Initially in my quest to find a partner I felt that she had to be educated,
good job, not have young children, be able to stimulate me intellectually
and be able to confirm that we're on the same page and see what happens.
Unfortunately, in most instances we were not on the same page, and/or;
myself or that person got scared with the following justification (things
happening too fast, or asking oneself do I really want to be in a
relationship, do I just want enjoy the thrill of the conquest, is this the
right one, or do I just want to get laid/layed).

Again, all the questions raised are important but, do you want to conduct an
interview or just interact, get to know the person and let everything will
be revieled naturally. Following is a msg that I've shared with some women
and the results are answers to some of our questions.

Walls

Consider the wall. There are two kinds of walls. There is a bearing wall,
which is a wall you cannot do without. A bearing wall is designed to bear
the weight of the structure. The wall with a window in it is a bearing wall
because it holds up the weight of the roof. But it cannot be a bearing wall
unless its inextricably, fundamentally connected to the foundation. If the
wall that is around your life is not connected to the foundation, it is not
a bearing wall. If walls around your life are not connected to the rock, it
will not sustain the weight of your problems, your difficulties, your
trials....
You need to be connected to the rock "For none can lay any foundation other
than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ.

There is also this other wall; (Ephesians 2:14-1 It is the middle wall, it
is the interior wall. You can move that wall and the building will still
stand. The problem with the interior wall is that we create them. We make up
our own interior walls. We make up our own middle walls. This middle wall is
there because discrimination is there.... because hatred is there....
because regret is there.... because pain is there.... How are you going to
have your walls broken down?? The wall is only broken down once you
acknowledge your humanity, once you realize you are no more than anyone
else. Your wall comes down when you acknowledge that there is nothing to
hide and no defense mechanism to secure you. We need a word that is
redemptive. And the word is that GOD never leaves us with the middle wall in
our lives because of something we put in every middle wall. Every middle
wall in our lives has one thing in it: it has a door...There i! s a door. It
is connected to your heart. But nobody will come busting in. Nobody will
break down your door. The lock is not on the outside. The lock is on the
inside. And Jesus says, "Here I am! I stand at the door and knock..
Revelation 3:20

Just to let you guys know by no stretch am I a religious fanatic

The following is a post by Roy from the original email dialogue. The focus was on questions (fundamental questions) that we should know about the other person:

Yes we're all coming/going through a transformative process and these
questions are pertinent. Despite our pursuit of truth I think very few
men/women are comfortable with the truth, of course since we're on this
endeavor we might be part of the few.

In asking these question of a potential partner, the order is important. I
would ask #4 (Spiritual Beliefs) & #7 (lessons learned) first. The answers
will tell a lot about that person and determine what's next.

As an example how would you respond to someone saying they're an athiest or
someone who says they've been wronged by their EX, hates him and will never
get hurt again by a man. Its the same with us "takes two"