After listening to your show yesterday, I only have one request.

PLEASE let me know where I can donate a couple of cases of "Merlot" every month so that we can keep Rajen in the basement!
It never ceases to amaze me how folks become that which they, in essence, rail against!

He is the reflection of the black men who say they only date white women because black women are too loud, brash, harsh, critical, blah blah blah.

Do his ideas apply to some? I'm so sure they do!
But the SWEEPING statements he makes about black men and women just makes him the different side of the same coin of the folks that want to believe that black men have huge monster penii, black women are sex crazed jungle bunnies, yadda yadda yadda.
That kind of rhetoric helps no one!
And his anger was palpable!

I think Rajen's conclusions came from a very narrow research focus. I agree that there appears to be pathology operating where we consistently see prominent black men marrying white women from lower economic classes while the opposite, white men marrying black women of lower economic status is clearly not as prevalent.

However, this is a small part of the interracial unions out there. Interracial relationships and marriages run the gamut of social and economic classes, a variety of outcomes, and involve individuals of varying backgrounds and histories.

The pathology of racism has many varied itinerations, that present themselves in a variety of ways. Rajen characterization presents just one example of the varied effects of racism.

On the other hand, I don't believe that all interracial relationships are pathological. And, as we all know, Relationships of individuals of the same ethnicitiy are far from idillic.

Maybe we see it more because that is what the media will focus on? I've known plenty of wealthy white men who married sisters that were not their economic equal. I’ve received a few of those proposals myself. As I said, I’m sure that those old “scripts" figure into some of these unions. But to say that they are ALL based on them is just stupid in my not so humble opinion.

My concern is that books like Rajen's just add to the disconnect, bitterness, and negativity that exists already between black men and women. Instead of focusing on how to avoid the assholes by working on self, you give folks an excuse to continue making the same mistake and expect a different result. To not look within for solutions to their dilemmas, but continue to look without, find someone else to blame. That to me is so unhealthy. We are all guilty of it at times, and it is hard enough to stop. When you have folks selling books that help you to stay "stuck on stupid", it becomes even harder, and voices like yours (the flow) get lost in the din of that insanity.