Stunningly, the CDC revealed a compelling report about down low men. Instead of referring to them as down low, the CDC concluded they were MSM (men who have sex with men). The CDC did hundreds of interviews with down low men only to discover that these men, in fact, were men who had sex with other men, but only occasionally. These men also do not define themselves as gay. They do think the behavior they are involved in makes them gay. Because they are attracted to and have sex with women, thes men do not think they are gay. In fact, the definitions for the terms down low and gay is a man who seeks to have a monogamous relationship with another man, and they only have sex with other men.

Here’s what I know of the behaviors of many down low men, or MSM. First, they do not define themselves as down low or the behavior of what they are doing as gay. They do not live a gay lifestyle which includes having gay friends, going to gay bars, or participating at gay events. Men who have sex with men (MSM's) feel if they are penetrating another man then he is not gay. The man who is being penetrated is the gay man.

Second, MSM only engage in anonymous sex or varied encounters. They are sporadic and not ongoing. MSM do not feel the need to be with another man routinely. MSM are not interested in the emotional, mental, or physical attributes of another man. They are only seeking a sexual release and any man will provide an outlet for that purpose.

Third, MSM would prefer not to use a condom because once a condom is introduced it concludes that they are engaging in a gay encounter. They have to protect themselves from the black gay man who is the HIV/AIDS carrier because, unfortunately, when people think of HIV and AIDS they think of black gay men. This is completely false! HIV/AIDS is not a black disease. It is not a black gay man’s disease. HIV/AIDS continues to affect everyone despite skin color, culture, and gender.

It’s important that we educate and empower ourselves about the devastation HIV/AIDS has on everyone. Yes, black women are proportionately becoming affected, and yes, the numbers are continuing to grow amongst black gay men. Instead of pointing the judgmental finger we should be pointing toward a message to people of how to remain HIV negative. We should be growing more powerful in a dialogue surrounding sex and sexuality. If we continue to blame one another and pin black women against black gay men then we will not get anywhere. Especially as MSM slip by and watch the turmoil that is tearing our community apart. Let’s build. Let’s educate. Let’s unite. We are family!