What's Love got To Do With It?
<strong>What's Love Got To Do With It‚has become so common a phrase that it has become a clich?©. But really, how does love fit into a relationship. Let start by trying to define love, the Oxford Dictionary's definitions of love are ‚an intense feeling of deep affection, sexual passion, sexual relations, a beloved one, a sweetheart, a form of address, a person of whom one is fond and the list goes on. Then there is to fall in love, for the love of, there's a love affair, a love child, a love feat, a love game, a love letter, a love life, a love match, seat, nest, to make love and of course, out of love. But isn't love in a new relationship the end result of a process more than the process itself?
If you look at the building blocks of a relationship, there is much that has nothing to do with love per se, at least how most envision it. Angelo, of the Flow, (the middle guy in the logo) says, “folks view love and relationships like the cereal Fruit Loops—a magically delicious experience. But is that what love is? I believe that love, true love is a process beginning with:
1. Knowing and loving yourself
2. Assessing your past relationships. Have you used you past relations to work out unresolved personal problem, like loneliness, to make yourself happy, to recreate the love of mom or dad as opposed to making a self-affirming connection with another human being?
3. Taking the time to know the other person
4. Do you and your partner speak the same language or do you assume your partner just knows what you are thinking or feeling?
The above, which is not all inclusive, has and everything to do with love if you really want to attain it. Love, to me, is the end result of getting those things right. Are you in love with love, then keep on reading that romance novel. That will give you the magical experience you seek. Or, if you want a meaningful, thriving connect ion, then do things that will provide the love you say you want.
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Is love in a new relationship the end result of a process, or is it the initiation point of a journey together? The beauty of the question "What's love got to with it?" is that if two people are really invested in exploring possibilites with each other, it can be much more than a cliche. When a genuine interest exists to get to know someone on all levels, coupled with a willingness to be open, honest and vulnerable, wonderful things can happen. I agree that while romance can feel (and be) magical, romance is not love. A fertile ground for love to develop begins with real dialogue, an ability to be transparent, and yes the knowledge that true connection involves knowing and loving self. Personally, as I grow in my relationship, I'm always going to want to know "What's love got to do with it?" and my guess (my hope) is that the answer will get longer and longer.
Love has everything to do with relationships from the very beginning. It is love or the lack of love that fuels our every action. We date because we are in search of love. A friend recently said to me that in my search for love I would have to ‚Äúkiss a lot of frogs.‚Äù Those who believe in fairy tales and seek a ‚Äúmagically delicious romance‚Äù will undoubtedly kiss a lot of frogs. Self-love and past experiences will serve you well in learning about another person and ultimately experiencing love. You don‚Äôt have to kiss a lot of frogs. There is no all inclusive definition of love because it is ever changing and so encompassing. For me love is, among other things, respect, discipline, understanding, knowledge, freedom, commitment, and my essence. Love is much more than a sensual touch or a magically deliciously experience. If you believe in fairy tales you‚Äôll soon be repeating the clich?©, ‚Äúthere‚Äôs a thin line between love and hate.‚Äù Love is two souls touching, exploring, and becoming one. What‚Äôs love got to do with it? EVERYTHING. I never take love out of the equation at any point of the dating process because it is my ultimate goal. Ask yourself at different points of discovery during the dating process if you can love this person. If you settle for a great companion that you like but you don‚Äôt love, you can be happy but will always wonder and may never be completely satisfied. Perhaps this is enough for some, but if you desire more don‚Äôt ask ‚Äúwhat‚Äôs love got to do with it?‚Äù If you believe as I do and love is your ultimate goal in a relationship, write the word down and never lose sight of your goal. I don‚Äôt want just a relationship, I want a relationship filled with love.
I think that we all "kiss alot of frogs" to the point that we look for frogs and not a human being. Self love is a place that too many of us have not reached and that lack of love clothes itself as the infinite number of problems in relationships.
I agree that finding love is the goal for us all, but there is a problem when I'm ofered what looks to me like a dirty toilet plunger, but someone is calling it love. I believe that we all must delve much deeper than is typical to ensure that what we say we seek and what we offer is indeed worthy of the name love!