July 2007 Archives

We often see our romantic relationships in a vacuum, impacting only our own lives. However, how often do we look outside the world of our senses and ponder what do our children see and learn from us about relationships?

We all know adults in their 30's, 40's and beyond who's spirits struggle from family infidelity, desertion, domestic violence, sexual abuse and criminality. Early exposure to these kinds experiences not only influence the types of people we find ourselves coupled with, but shape concepts of love, intimacy, sexuality, and committment creating a cycle of disillusionment and even ruined lives. Maggie Scarf, in her book Intimate Worlds says "..."our childrens' lives speak our truth." I would suggest that we all look at our relationships and reflect is this "the truth" we wish to leave, that may take a lifetime for our children to resolve.

Sex and it's relationship to a meaningful spiritual life is a topic largely ignored, but greatly disparaged by organized religion, nonetheless, this is a burning issue that exists just below the surface of our conciousness. We live in a society where we are bombarded by sex, but mainly for the purpose of personal gratification in the purchase of some good or service. The media has taken the sexual disconnect created by religion and has made it a physchologically loaded abstraction and absurdity. The tradegy of this is that many apply these concepts to their lives and relationships which, I believe, has resulted in the sexual pathology that surrounds us. We are living in the eye of a storm! Can we talk about it?

We have bee socialized to believe that sex should be confined within the context of marriage, but if we historically examine this, we will find it is mainly women who have been confined by this frame of reference.

We have bee socialized with the notion that though sex can be a pleasurable experience, that to enjoy it too much puts one character into question.

These are just two of the of many issues regarding our sexuality that confront and influence us all, whether religious, spiritual, or unbeliever. The FLOW wants to hear your comments, questions and concerns regarding reconciling our sexual and spiritual selves in today's society.

If you remember, Neo, the hero in the film “The Matrix” was given a choice by Morpheus. Choose the blue pill to remain in the illusory world of the Matrix, a world that was an elaborate simulation designed to hide it’s inhabitants from who they are. Or, choose the red pill and face reality, for the first time with life’s real challenges and ultimate successes. We all know what choice the hero made and he was consequently transformed as were those around him.

We all face a similar choice regarding our relationships. Unfortunately, too many of us choose the blue pill and opt to remain in a relationship world that is a figment of our media induced imaginations that in reality have little to do with the happiness we claim to seek. Welcome to the Matrix.

When choosing a partner, do we choose them for their life style? Or, do we choose them for who they are, and how they allow us to live in accord with our deepest desires and wishes?

Is everyone we meet cut out for a committed relationship? Are we? Are we making choices out of social convention/pressure, rather than a reflection of our readiness? Once we love ourselves, people no longer look good to us, unless they are good for us, I believe..
What's your thinking....

<strong>What's Love Got To Do With It‚has become so common a phrase that it has become a clich?©. But really, how does love fit into a relationship. Let start by trying to define love, the Oxford Dictionary's definitions of love are ‚an intense feeling of deep affection, sexual passion, sexual relations, a beloved one, a sweetheart, a form of address, a person of whom one is fond and the list goes on. Then there is to fall in love, for the love of, there's a love affair, a love child, a love feat, a love game, a love letter, a love life, a love match, seat, nest, to make love and of course, out of love. But isn't love in a new relationship the end result of a process more than the process itself?

Love & Intimacy: Getting It and Keeping It!

It is assumed that love and intimacy are naturally a part of a committed relationship. But are they really? Love is more than a good feeling and intimacy is more than sex. Do these concepts hold the same meanings for each partner? Do our concepts of Love and Intimacy say more about who we are than the quality of our relationships? How are these concepts influenced by such social forces as the media and religion? Has what we believe love and intimacy to be brought the fulfillment we seek in our relationships? The FLOW and our panel of experts will explore Love & Intimacy: Is it real or imagined in your relationship?

Sex, Religion and Spirituality: Reconciling our Sexual and Spiritual Selves

Where do our notions regarding sex and sexuality come from, our initial caregivers, religion, social conditioning or just a conflicting mix? Is our sexuality basic to who we are or is it to be defined only within the confines of a relationship? How did sex become a Pandora's box separate from a meaningful spiritual life. How do our sexual attitudes impact our relationships? The FLOW will explore how both historical and current attitudes towards sex and sexuality shape the character of our relationships. It's deeper than you think!