Financial Intimacy
It’s when the wedding is over and the life together begins and couple begin to plan their financial life together – Is this putting the cart before the horse? Should financial life begin with the wedding or before? Financial intimacy, in my opinion, should unfold in a relationship along with emotional, inelllectual, spiritual imtimacy. Having a sense of the financial person you are in a relationship with is part on getting to know who that person is. This knowledge can also be a portend of ultimate relationship success.
Is your partner overly materialistic? What is your partners' attitude about money? What are their financial goals? How do they spend their money and on what? Are they in debt? How much? Why? Being able to openly talk about money and finance is a good indicator of the real quality of your realtionship. If this is a persistently uncomfortable topic, particularily if there are plans for a long term relationship or marriage, then there are probably other things needing reassesment as well.
I'd be interested in hearing the experiences of those in The FLOW community have had with financial intimacy??
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Theresa, I wanted to respond to your topic because it made me think about my own financial situation when I was first in a relationship with my exhusband. In the begining he was the provider, my money was my money. As the years passed the financial situation changed, there was no dialogue about the changes it just happended. Everything was split down the middle. If by some chance I didn't have my half of the money, oh well to bad he would not put my half in. This in turn caused many arguments. As time went on he made one big decision without discussing it with me that caused us to fall so deep into debt I thought we'd never get out.
What I learned from this experience is if I were to get into another serious relationship,I know the importance of laying the financial cards on the table. Also with more and more older men having younger children I must take into consideration that no matter what, they still have to pay child support which can be nearly half of what they make, depending on how many children they have. Life throws all kinds of monkey wrenches in the ring that can change our financial situation. Communication is the best remedy.
Not only must you put your financial cards on the table, but, more importantly, BOTH you and your partner should actively seek to disclose who you are financially. If not, something is up.