December 2006 Archives

Through the years, working as a director of domestic violence shelters for women and children, and serving as a keynote speaker for policy and change, I have wittnessed the varying degrees of how, as humans, we inflict pain onto one another.
On a personal level, someone very close to me,who shares my blood, committed the unthinkable, he murdered his wife. Something like this, when you read about it in the newspaper, you shake your head in disbelief, and turn to the next page. But when something like this strikes at home, it locates a permenant place in your memory, bookmarked through the years, velcro for extra measures.

"With whom should the prime relationship be?"

The different beliefs regarding the “Prime Relationship” as discussed at various Forums range from being with God to being one with oneself. We’ve also discussed the theory that in order for us to effectively love someone and try to have a satisfying/fulfilling relationship we must have the same with ourselves.

In reading The Zahir, a novel of obsession by Paulo Coelho whose previous book was The Alchemist Mr. Coelho states:

“If someone is capable of loving their partner without restrictions, unconditionally, then they are manifesting the love of God. If the love of God becomes manifest, you will love your neighbor. If you love your neighbor, you will love yourself. If you love yourself, then everything returns to its proper place.”

What are your thoughts?
Do we need to reveal our love of God before we can truly love ourselves??

The reality of life is change. Relationships as well as the individuals involved are constantly evolving. What we thought was so at the outset can seem not to be so, a day, a month or years later, even if it's only our own perceptions.

Too often, we point an accusing finger at our partner, for not being or being what they once were. And consequently, their actions are labled right or wrong. We often forget that to arrive at where we are, is the result of a not always straight line. This does not mean acceptance or enduring an unfulfiling relationship, but understanding that there is an ongoing process of individual development occuring regardless of the outcome.

The FLOW, Angelo, Marc & Roy will be interviewed on WBAI, 99.5 FM Pacifica Radio at 10 PM. We will be guests on "Heart of Mind", with Hosts Kathy Davis and Co-host Faybiene. Please join the relationship dialogue with The FLOW and do call in!

It’s when the wedding is over and the life together begins and couple begin to plan their financial life together – Is this putting the cart before the horse? Should financial life begin with the wedding or before? Financial intimacy, in my opinion, should unfold in a relationship along with emotional, inelllectual, spiritual imtimacy. Having a sense of the financial person you are in a relationship with is part on getting to know who that person is. This knowledge can also be a portend of ultimate relationship success.

Is your partner overly materialistic? What is your partners' attitude about money? What are their financial goals? How do they spend their money and on what? Are they in debt? How much? Why? Being able to openly talk about money and finance is a good indicator of the real quality of your realtionship. If this is a persistently uncomfortable topic, particularily if there are plans for a long term relationship or marriage, then there are probably other things needing reassesment as well.

I'd be interested in hearing the experiences of those in The FLOW community have had with financial intimacy??

Despite our pleasant material acquisitions/ suroundings, many people experience dissatisfaction in their relationships and their lives. As humans, our requirements cannot be fulfilled with material things alone.
And in such a pursuit, how does it impact our connections with each other?

What is the path beyond material exisitence? And how is that path in service of a deeper understanding of who we are, and the affect on our relationships?