Do Our Definitions of Manhood Get In the Way?
Recently, Michael Baisden, a nationally syndicated radio personality, aired a show titled All About the Benjamins. The question asked during the show was how would a man feel if his significant other made more money than he did? Also asked was what would be the impact upon men if their women were more educated.
Overwhelmingly, the men that called in expressed insecurity regarding what they perceived as the women having more materially, and consequently, more power than they did. Many of the women that called in described negative relationship experiences where they had greater income or education.
What was most interesting was how the men’s sense of self was based more upon what they had or did as opposed to who they were. Also implied was that there was some innate male need to be in control in their relationships that was somehow threatened by a woman having greater income or education. Why have many of our relationships become battle grounds of male control and domination? The FLOW wants to know?
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Mating in Captivity, Esther Perel
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Absent Fathers Lost Sons
Men Get Over It!
When a woman has her own and she allows a man of lesser means than herself in her life it is probably because she wants him. The operative word is “want”. And when a woman is in a place of “want” rather than “need”, she is usually ready to open her heart and soul to a man of character and integrity. Now don’t get me wrong....I am sure she wants someone that contributes to the quality of her life and also has goals/aspiration as well. But the bottom line will be that she likes what he is about and she “wants” him. I know most men will say that she doesn’t “need” me because she has all these worldly possessions, education, income..and more. All those things are very nice to have, but never, ever takes the place of having someone to give love to and receive love from. Men, get over yourselves. It need not be a power play between the sexes. It should be about how each of the genders feels with the other.....if he/she makes u laugh, forget u had a bad day, brings u flowers for no reason at all, rubs your back because u are stresses....etc. Sometimes and many times it’s the little things that we can do for one another that makes a huge difference in making our connections more meaningful. One more thing, just because someone needs u doesn’t always mean they love you. The quality of the relationship is so much better when it is from a place of “want” than “need”.
Thank you Corletha!! You can hire someone to take care of needs but no amount of money can make a person truly 'want' to be with you or love you. Why can't men accept this? I thought most men, and women for that matter, wanted unconditional love. Why is it so hard for men to accept? Does it have to do with the men are from Mars and women are from Venus theory?