Internet Dating???
Many folks approach internet dating with some hesitancy. Can I trust what people tell me? Is that picture in their profile really them? Is is safe to actually meet someone I met on the internet? And everyone has a horror story they can relate about internet dating. Given what we hear about the internet per se in the media from all sorts of scams, to rampant pornograhhy and pedeaphelia, our initial reactions are understandable. Nonetheless, in my opinion, internet dating sites are legitimate venues to meet people. It can't be beat for meeting a varied, critical mass of individuals that you would not meet in the course of your daily lives, whether for a relationship, a pen pal, or just a friend. Of course, I would suggest, and The Flow advocates, the importance of taking your time to get to know someone with whom you connect. It in no way absolves you of the need to judge the character of those you meet. And, I would also suggest, that initial meetings occur in a very public place. But I believe that internet dating, for the most part, is no more perlious than meeting someone in person. In either venue you can be vulerable to deception. And, I'm sure that far more folks have been decieved in the flesh than on the internet.
At one time, I did frequent several dating sites and met folks with whom I became friends and pen pals. I preferred to establish a dialogue through email befor any phone conversations. I enjoy the writing and feel that alot can be revealed through the written word. Also, a literate person with good communication skills was one of my criterea. Your approach may be different. I took my time. To me, anyone who is in a rush to meet is suspect. However, what struck me most regarding these sites was the desperation and frustration that was so common. Very few of us have a history of sucessful relationships and most are in various stages of recovery from our past. From many of the profiles I read, I felt the repeated hurts and disappointments that women have experienced in their relationships. In some cases, it was apparent they did not have the tools to make good choices or their expectations were wildly unrealistic. Many were searching for a concept of love that bore no sembalence to reality and disappointment was inevitable. Others, had much self work to do and were just not ready for a relationship.
Does all this sound familar? Are these not the same issues than any of us would experience meeting someone in person? Though the internet dating sites offer us a convenient way of meeting and interacting with interesting people, it does not absolve us of the work to be done in cultivating a meaningful relationship. What is your opinion of internet dating websites?
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i really enjoyed the website What are men thinking, and also the article getting to know someone it gave some very interesting points.
This comment is in regards to the internet dating post. I totally agree in what you said about making sure you know the person for a little while before you meet them, and also make sure it is in a public place. A lot of people use facebook now, which is an internet site for college students to meet other people through their current friends, and it is a great idea. But one thing that I have found out is that the pictures that people put up most of the time do not resemble themselves in real life, and it is fairly easy to be tricked into thinking someone is good looking when in reality they are not. I think that the internet dating sites are a good idea, but I also would tell people to be careful in who they meet on them, and not to give away to much personal information.
Crowell WPU
In response to internet dating....I have to say it
has become one of the most interesting things I have done. I sometimes think that it is a playground for cyber players and playetts but just as quickly I will talk to someone who's very intelligent and interesting. You do have to be careful not to wear your heart on your sleeve and look before leap.
Whether in or out of cyberspace, you don't wear your heart on your sleeve and look before you leap.
As a veteran of net dating for over a year, I can say that it is just like real life dating except you have to kiss a lot more frogs before you find your princess/prince. The amount of “game” you run into is multiplied due to the large number of people and the anonymity it offers, so beware. Being honest with yourself and those you meet helps cut thru much of that. I think honesty is the most important thing in relationships and in life. Why play? I know it scares most people, but I believe that is a good thing. One less frog to kiss.
Things I’ve learned from net dating:
1. Have a sense of humor
2. Don’t take yourself too seriously.
3. Don’t take most of the people you will meet too seriously either.
4. Good pictures are easy to find....and copy and paste too.
5. Have a sense of humor.
6. Be honest in your profile. Be yourself…not who you THINK someone wants you to be.
7. Be patient with the process.
8. NO one from Nigeria is really looking for a serious relationship…except with your bank account.
9. Have a REALLY good sense of humor.
10. Know when to stop trying.
11. Accept rejection. It probably saved you a lot of angst.
12. Remember…many out there really have no clue what they want…profiles notwithstanding.
13. ALWAYS meet on neutral ground. And NOT just for the first meeting either.
14. Did I mention that you should have a good sense of humor?