How Did I End Up Here, Again?

The rejection
the lack of protection
the anytime anything goes wrong
perfection that says
it is always your fault

and it’s just a matter of time
before you start adjusting
your movements
watching your step
and like a tap dancer
you begin to hop to someone else’s beat
feeling the defeat
because you know that
only puppets can move to the puppeteer’s
strings and before long you’ll be asked to
perform all kinds of things

but try with your might
you’ll never get them right
because you were not put on this earth
just to make another person happy

and if you, I mean, if he doesn’t like it
then talk to my Creator
because He promised me greater

circumstances than this
and I tsk, tsk for you and even more for myself
as I should have kept my love on the shelf
because you were so unworthy

But I tried to come out of my tough shell
I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt
even though I could never figure out
what it was about me that made you
mis-value me

and a little self-reflection lets me know
that I tried to do it my way
I tried to let a man be a man
and yet again
I ran
into one who believed he couldn’t achieve
his manhood unless it was at my expense

round 2
ding-ding
I’m stepping out of your boxing ring
and I’m going to spend some real time
doing my thing
because I realize I am not Ali
and the only one who keeps getting stung
seems to be me

Myla Jones–2005