Relationship Disconnect
I believe there is a mutual disconnect between men and women regarding who they are in their relationships. Women on one hand, have been socialized to be caretakers and fixers. consequently, they cater to the many flawed male egoes with just as flawed expectations. And/or they are carrying the bones of past failed relationships, beating any male within reach with THOSE BONES. Men on the other hand are struggling with a self affirming definition of who they are as men. Many women and men are either living in a failed past or projecting their present into an fearful future, too often, not savoring the present. Relationships should be venues for mutual growth and self-discovery. As stated in the book "The Seven Levels of Intimacy" by Mahtew Kelly, "the purpose relationships should be to be condusive to each partner becoming the best version of themselves. What your take! THE FLOW WANTS TO KNOW!!!!
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We all come with our own makeup whether it ise from our upbringing, failed relationships.We are all in search of our own indenties. In or out of a relationshiop Knowing your role is essential to any relationship .I believe, of course some may differ but as men and women we have different roles within the relation. The key is working together , communicating our differences and resolving it immediately. Each person has to know and respect the personal choices you make be it in your professional life or personal. Your work is just that your work your personal life is what joins two people together. One time I was told that I was a personal liability because I was not makeing millions of dollars to contribute to a marriage.(The big house the fancy car etc. But what does that have to do with love I wondered and I was truly hurt. We need to connect in every possible way with our partners not disconnect. Affection, kindness, goodness they all play a role in being connected. So the next time you are going do a separating work think twice about the hurtful reactions it can cause. So work hard at loving him/her and stay connected. There is always a solution to a problem when you truly love that special someone..
Belise
What if you are locked into a pattern of behavior that does not work? My point is trhat we all have been socialized to accept roles that have lead to the lack of success we see in many relationships.
What if I think my role is to smother you with affection and maybe out of my history, i'm running away from being smothered? How do two people come to terms dwith this? It's not just about talking it out, it's understanding what underlies our frame of reference and how do we break out of it.
Your right to a degree. But going back to getting to know yourself and your past mistakes. Why do I smothered someone with so much love and effection and why is it not embrace. ..ummmmmmmmmm.
It takes again asking what your partner likes and does not. We come from different cultures so it is important to understand that. If your from the more affectionate countries then you better have some effectionate traits. Looking at what your offering and what is being recieved is vital to making a choice that will reap rewards in your relationship.
We like to cater to our men and they do too! So for us that is not an issue perhaps there will be other issues but in the relationship you have to explore and see what is in the best interest of those involved be it emotional, spiritually, and physical.So be aware early on to the likes and dislikes....
Until Belise
I also think that a relationship is more than your socializaion. Does affection translate into a healthy, thriving relationship? Does affection even translate into an intimacy based on mutual self-discovery and growth?
Affection is only are small demonstration of your feelings for that special someone. There is more as I mentioned that has to be explored...So where would you me or others begin doing that exploring. It is about working the truth in your life and what you want to give.So our personal attention is needed.
Belise
Belise
In the Flow, we say, "in looking for mr/mrs right, look within." We advocated that you must first explore within to be able to explore outside yourself. Undertanding your motivations can lead to understanding your choices in your relationships. This underlies "what is being offered and what is being received."