Looking for Mr/Mrs Right?

I feel that it is very important to know who you are in establishing a relationshiop. In a healthy realationship both parties are proud individuals. They are both aware of who they are. He/She respect themselves and others. Neither seeks definition from the other person he/she or with, nor does he/she expect them to read their mind. They are both quite capable of articulating his/her needs. In knowing what you desire you are able to detect after a few minutes of a conversation if this is someone worth getting to know. A good realtionship is hopeful. You know how to make you dreams come true. He/She knows love, therefore they give love. They recongizes that love has great value and must be reciprocated. When and if love is taken for granted it soon disappears. Knowing yourself and your real motivations you understand that time, has to inspire others to reach their potential God gives them.I feel that if you know your past, understand your present and move toward your future you will know what you want and expect in a relationship.When knowing who you are you know that with God the world is a playground, but without God you will just be played with. For it to be successful you can not live in fear of the future because of the past. Instead understand each other life experieinces and know that they are merely lessons, meant to bring you closer to self-knowledge and unconditional self-love.

I believe that knowing yourself plays a major part of finding the right person for yourself. If you dont know who you are and what your looking for than how can another person start to form a relationship with you. I alway said you have to love yourself first before you can love someone else.

How do you come to love yourself in a society where your worth comes from not who you are, but from what you have or what you do?

I agree with the fact that you mus know who you are before establishing a relationship. If you do not know your true selfs, and your likes/dislikes, then how are you supposed to make a relationship work. If you go into a relationship not knowing certain "important" things about yourself, that is when tension begins to form between you and your partner. You begin to realize things about yourself that you didnt know, but more importantly the person you are with will begin to realize that you are a different person then you were at the start. They say that opposites attract...that may be true, but I do not think that they last. When you know your true self, and you find someone that has a lot in common with those same beliefs, that is the beginning of a successfull relationship.

In The F.L.O.W., we say the knowing yourself is a journey not a destination. It is more than likes and dislikes, it's understanding the underlying reasons why certian choices are made in relationships.

Are you really trying to connect in a meaningful way with another person or are you looking for your daddy? It only through deep introspection and taking responsibility for your choices and their outcomes will you come to any real conclusion. This is all part of knowing who you are that enables you to make conscious choices regarding relationships, as opposed to acting on some magical feeling.

It is important to know who you are before entering in a serious relationship. When you really know who you are and have accomplished your goals you are a better person that can commit and develop a healthy relationship that can lead to a solid marriage.

I think that it is very important to know and love yourself before you can be in a serious relationship with somebody. You need to know your limits, what makes you happy, what makes you sad, etc. Once you are conent with the life you led before entering a relationship than you can really focus on the important things that you are about to embark on. It is completely true that you need to love yourself before loving anybody else.

I don't feel that anybody is capable of having a positive healthy relationship with another person if they don't have a positive and healthy relationship with theirself. It is essential to know who you are and what you stand for. It is also important to understand the events that have gone on in your life as well. This will help you to realize and try to understand why you make the choices you do (in actions and in people).Are you seeking a mother/father figure? Or are you generally interested in the person for who they are and how they make you feel?
You don't have to find a person that is exactly like you. However, sharing the same values, beliefs and goals can contribute to a strong foundation. If you don't know your true self how will you know if you have these things in common or if this person is truly you Mr/Ms Right?

I believe it is true, that one must know themselves before they can really know what they want in others. I think this not only pertains to Mr and Mrs Right, but with one's friends as well. We all look for friends, boyfriends/ girlfriends that have qualities in themselves that we have in ourself. The sooner one can find out who they are the quicker they can find someone with similar qualities.

Love is definitely not a magical feeling or experience. If you have made the right choice, however, love can and should be filled with magical moments. Sometimes, we must be still and allow ourselves to feel.

At no time should you negate your feelings, however, I believe, it is more healthy in the long run if those feelings come from a legimate place. Not from a tingliing in your toes, or a fond memory from a hollywood movie, or from a blind attempt to make it what YOU want it to be, but from a place that is self affirming and honors who you are.

What's more legitimate than the soul? Also, I like it when my toes tingle. While I believe an intellectual examination of relationships is not only important but necessary, I also believe we must not lose sight of the human need to be loved, even in a most crude sense.

Real love is a spiritual connection, though it can result in the "tingling of the toes it trancends the physical." True love, I believe has a lasting effect upon the spirit whose effect is beyond any fleeting physical
reaction. If that is what you seek, then you are hooked upon something that is not love. Too often, to love, in the "crude sense" is just that crude, transcient, unfulfilling, and even self-defeating.

Calling it real love or true love is the same as saying "the honest truth." I too believe love is only possible between two people who have made a spiritual connection. Even then, the relationship or that love needs to be nurtured. Love can be experienced on any and all levels. By crude, I mean raw, unrefined, basic, simple, uncomplicated. Sometimes love and joy can be found in the simplest things in life, like when your toes tingle. We should not overlook but enjoy the eloquence of simplicity. Relationships sometimes end but love transcends all and is everlasting.

I also agree that there need to be a connection for emotions to grow into love. Does it have to be spiritual right away....I think not. As u get to know one another I believe that will become evident what life the relationship will take on. The need to examine relationships on an intellectual basis is evident of failed romantic relationships on all levels and relationships in general. The analysis does help put a name to an emotion, give a reason for such feelings and generally put things in perspective. But feelings are just that and no matter how often we try to intellectualize them, sometimes you just have to “go thru it”. That it is the wonderful thing that makes us human beings. I agree with Marc that we should not negate our feelings. At the same time Linda makes a valid point also.......I like my toes to tingle too! And when they didn’t tingle I knew it wasn’t that kind of connection. I believe that true love touches your heart and soul to the very core of your being and it does need to be nurtured....nothing in relationships should be left to “automatic” if it is of value to u. I think we all have seen mature couples that have been married for years that still have that twinkle in there eye for each other. You can get a real sense that they have true love and their toes still “tingle”. We should be asking them how they did it.

As quiet as it's kept, the fundamental basis of all relationships is spiritual. I believe, we are spiritual beings having physical experiences. Life is a series of relationships and a romantic relationship is just one of many of those experiences. To what end is another discussion...

Ah, romance! It can be tricky. I’ve always thought of romance as a natural byproduct of caring or nurturing. Romance can but does not need be staged. Someone might have “cared” enough to sky write your name across the sky. Is this romance? Someone may have “cared” to invite you to share a beautiful moonlit evening. Is this romance? Is romance a perfect evening filled with good music, silk, lace, aphrodisiacs, and intoxicating scents? Romance has a different meaning for each of us. For me, romance is a thoughtful, creative expression of ones feelings that says, I care for you. Romance in a relationship keeps the flames burning and just makes you feel good! At this very moment I’m thinking of romantic ways to show the man in my life just how special he is because I “care.” It gets tricky, however, when we foolishly allow ourselves to be blinded by romance. Sometimes we expect our relationships to be endlessly filled with skywriting, perfect settings, and sensual encounters. It’s hard to maintain that type of existence and when faced with reality, we end up wondering what happened to the romance. Romantic relationships very often do not last because they are superficial and not grounded in reality. It is so important to allow relationships to develop and to get to know the practical, everyday existence of your partner. When you do, your partner’s thoughtful, creative expressions are more meaningful and you will experience and appreciate romance even more. If you care more about the romance than your partner, you probably need to reassess your relationship.