What is Fatherhood? Is it a role, a frame of reference, a behavior, or just a set of socially sanctioned activities? At one time fathering meant being a good provider, not a nurturer or a homemaker. Today the role of a father has greatly expanded? Has it evolved to reflect who we are as a human being as opposed to a narrowly defined behavior? Is fatherhood something innate to men or a process to be understood, and developed based upon our own personal histories? Is being a “good” father different than being a good person? Do all men have the qualities to be “good” or more importantly healthy father?
We often hear about the value of fatherhood. Is it more than just being present in the home? How essential are father’s as opposed to having a healthy home environment and caregivers? Are there unique values and frames of reference that fathers should pass on to their progeny and children they care for. Fatherhood does not exist in a vacuum. It cannot fully examined without considering the mother or her absence and how society impacts the father role.Fathers are often the role models for love & intimacy, masculinity, gender equality, the treatment of women, etc. What’s the impact of all this for home, family and society?
Join The FLOW and guest panelists from 2pm to 3:15pm,at the 2010 Harlem Book Fair on July 17th, at the Thurgood Marshall Academy, Rm 303, 214 W 135th St in Harlem as we explore the multi-demensions of fatherhood.
Robert T. Gardner Jr. is the author of the recently published The Choices We Make, a book about how our choices can foster or impede healthy loving. In the spirit of The FLOW , Robert states in his book that healthy relationships are the result healthy individuals, open to the process of personal and individual growth, not just getting their needs met.
If you are as impressed with Robert's thoughts as The FLOW, Please visit his website at rtgardnerjr.com.
Are you Relationship Ready?
What is Relationship Readiness? It is comprised of several key elements. It requires that you have good Emotional Health, which you have reconciled with your childhood issues, and very little baggage is brought into your current and future relationships. It also requires that you have good Self Esteem, so you can feel real good about yourself as you engage in relationships. Good Self Awareness is required enabling you to have a good idea of knowing who you are and where you come from. This will contribute to your state of wholeness. When we feel whole, we feel good. When we feel good, we are good to others in our relationships.
The FLOW celebrates and proclaims the written and spoken word thru Myla, our Poet in Residence. Myla is a published author. Her first book of poetry titled My Poetry, My Words is available in book stores. Her second volume of verses will be available soon.
Check Myla out at the next FLOW event!
Writers Muse
One letter
One word
One mark on a blank page
Is how each poem starts
Magnanimous
Visceral
Palpitating
Vivre
All writing is not meant to be read
And all poetry will not
Become part of the canon
But does that make my words any less special
Does that mean what I have to say is any less important
And who the fuck are these people who decide
Which words are
Good
Bad
Worthy
Literary?
Can You Really Talk About Sex?
Can/do you and your partner openly discuss your sexual likes and dislikes? Can your partner tell you "baby you're not hitting it?" Do you respond with "show me where it's at" or is your ego crushed and you emotionally withdraw?
Can you talk to your partner about using sex toys? Would your male ego be crushed if your partner told you she used a vibrator and enjoyed it? Have you and your partner ever masturbated together or helped each other masturbate? Can you even comfortably talk about it? Oral sex--can you talk about it? Anal sex--can you talk about it, without your partner condemning you to hell!?
What is Sexual Intimacy?
Don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating any particular sexual behavior. What I am advocating is the necessity of two individuals in a relationship communicating openly, without malice, regarding what they want and don't want. Open communication is the prelude to real intimacy, and real intimacy is more than just the physical. It's revealing who you really are to each other. So, if you ain't doing it here, chances are you ain't doing it in other areas as well! In other words, it's not uncommon for the lack of communication regarding sex to be the tip of the iceberg regarding other unresolved issues in the relationship.
What's you opinion? The FLOW WANTS TO KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It’s often projected in the media that for women to understand men is the key to finding and keeping a partner. Whether you are a man from Mars or women trying to think like a man, looking at the current relationship landscape, do these abstractions really lead to meaningful connections?
The subtext of this line of thought is often that women must cater to or adapt to the way men behave or think, becoming objects in need of fixing in the service of men. But really, do men have any more useful relationships strategies than women?
Join The FLOW and FLOW panelists, Deborah Cofer author of If He's "Hooked on P_ _ _ _ " Buy him a cat...: The Spiritual Rules for Dating, Relating, and Mating! Robert Gardner, author of The Choices We Make on Heart of the Matter, the Relationships Magazine on Sunday, December 6th at 6PM.
In our rush into a relationship, too many believe that sex is the gateway to intimacy and miss the opportunity to develop a real friendship, the starting point of healthy relationships. Have we been duped into believing that sex is the pathway to true love or is it? Do our expectations regarding sex get in the way of really getting to know the other person or is it all self gratification?
Sex in a new relationship is really about how we define ourselves and what behaviors we bring into relationships. These behaviors can be the result of upbringing, religious beliefs, cultural traditions, and past experiences, neither of which authentically define who we are, and impede meaningfulness and real intimacy.
When to Give it Up is an important conversation regarding the underlying reasoning behind our behaviors that fail to take us were WE SAY we wish to go in our relationships. So, the question is not only When To Give It UP but Why Are You Giving It UP? Are we both the victims and perpetrators of a faulty frame of reference.
Flow4theworld HOME
About the Flow
About the Flow
Reading List
The Seven Levels of Intimacy
Mating in Captivity
The Will To Change
Absent Fathers Lost Sons
How To Be an Adult in Relationships
Getting Good Loving
Why Can't You See Me?
Conversations with God
Crucial Converaations
Boundaries and Relationships
